I’m not that lazy after all

I’m not that lazy after all

I always thought I was. And for years, I beat myself up for it. Why self? Whyyyy? It takes me so long to do my work. To do chores. To fill up forms. To contact customer service. To learn a new skill.

When it takes too much time and I can’t see the results, I get really frustrated and give up.

I mostly do things until i really have to or until the last minute. Study. Homeworks. Projects. Things i do not like. Chores. Tasks. Errands. Dealing with obstacles.

But then for 3 days, I slept until 4am, not just to play games or watch tv which I usually do (no ragrets!) but to make desserts. Not just for me. But for other people.

Im starting to think I’m not that lazy after all. In fact, maybe no one actually is.

How I took care of myself financially when I was younger

Wow this reads like self pity. Yes it is. It’s the only thing i have as comfort.

Reflecting on how i took care of myself financially

1. I love to read and as much as I beg, Im not given fiction books. Theyre a waste of time they said. So during elementary school, i saved a part of my allowance and bought 2nd hand books at booksale. (life saver) then rented these out to my classmates to get more money to buy more books. Yey

2. I also sold some things to fund my hobbies at that time: sticker collecting and computer games.

3. Sweets has always been my weakness and we’re not allowed to buy much. So i sold candies to my classmates and used those profits to fund my sweet tooth. Lol no business expertise

4. In shame after being ridiculed with my hand-me-down and tasteless clothes (which i totally understand why now), i stored another part of my allowance, took part time jobs, until such time when i was able to buy myself better looking apparel with the help of my fashion guru girl friend. Now i developed my own taste and sense of style due to her.

5. International family vacations during summer is a secret wish of every kid in the class. Or is it just mine?
I was able to travel just once with my family.
When i graduated, i used my salary to take myself out of the country at least once a year.
I remember being given much flak about this. Surprisingly, i didnt care. It was my money so I didnt wanna be bothered. That was one of the few decisions i didnt regret making.

Why write all these down now?
Im getting married and will soon have my own family. I hope to be a better parent and not deprive my children of the things they like that’re not harmful.

And i usually hate myself so now, im going to cut myself some slack and give past self a pat on the back. You did good kid 🙂 Thank you for all youve done. For making do on what you have and getting creative to get what you want. We may not have the best childhood but we made it a bit bearable. :’)

Before any of you think about negative things like im being ungrateful, think about yourself, your friends or your kids. Did they reach a point where they had to hustle to enjoy the things they love the most?

If yes, good for them! Share what they did in the comments below. 🙂 If not, don’t you see this is not the norm? So i hope you understand what I went through was not easy.

Taking care of ones wellbeing

Recently, a friend posted this quote and it tugged at my heart strings

“You all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re doing you. I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person. And it’s OK if that person is you.” *sniff

Typing this post so I’ll hopefully believe it in time.

Our own well-being is important too. We need to work on it.

Eat regular meals
Stop eating too much food with refined sugar
Get enough sleep
Stop worrying what others may think
Putting your needs first
Learn to say no
It’s okay to do things as long as it’s not disturbing or hurting someone
Let things go
Not getting hung up on what others said
Unfollowing people who trigger negative feelings or whose posts make you feel bad which slowly downward spirals you into hating yourself all over again. It’s not their fault for such things. It’s yours alone but you need to do it to recuperate your sense of self. Char hahaha

I hope to not fail this. Hopefully I can still read this next year.

Pleasant smells

I read it somewhere that while animals heavily use smells to survive: to attract / choose a mate, in finding food or water, sensing fear and danger, people associate smells with memories. For many months after my relationship ended, there were a couple of times when on strolling in malls, I thought I smelled his perfume. it’s a possibility that someone’s wearing the same scent but there were times when I look around, no one was near me and then a wave of bittersweet memories goes through my mind and hits me where it hurts. Huh odd.

In little or no relation to that, i’m compiling a list of all the smells that I find pleasant.

I delight in taking a whiff of these alluring scents:

The smell of
– newly washed sheets
– earth after the rain
– old and new books
– summer breeze
– shampooed hair
– coffee brewing
– freshly baked bread
– wood interiors of your local bookstore/coffee shop
– your first paycheck
– your loved one’s perfume on your shirt
– gasoline at a station
– new car smell
– crispy new bills
– a baby’s head

What other smells appeal to your senses? Do comment below 🙂